What's Your White Whale

I did not know my children had heard of the book Moby Dick. But it came up in conversation. Must have been referenced in one of those preteen graphic novels they take all the wrong lessons from.

“Dad, whats a white whale?” my daughter asked.

“From Moby Dick?” I reply as if there could be a second example. Or if Melville was on the primary school book list.

“[Insert character I forget] said that something was his white whale,” She continued. “What does that mean?”

“Okay, lets see if I can remember,” Having read it on my kindle once more than a dozen years ago.

”It’s a famous book about a whale hunter, Captain Ahab,” I said pretty sure I got at least that part right. “And Moby Dick, the white whale becomes this overwhelming obsession of his, to hunt that whale. The whale is a metaphor. And I think the lesson is to not be too singularly driven and obsessive about one thing or it will make you kind of crazy and unpleasant?” I ponder my confidence losing altitude as the explanation continues.

“Why was he hunting the whale?” My future veterinarian daughter asks.

“In olden days people killed whales for their blubber which was used as oil in lamps,” I note.

There is no age appropriate version of Moby Dick. Especially since I’m like 80% sure it starts with one of the narrators having a sleepover with a cannibal.

So lets focus on the broader themes the kids need from the book.

(1) be kind to whales and (2) don’t become overly obsessed with one thing.

For my son, that means something other than sports (baseball especially). Trying to make sure he has a balanced portfolio at his young age. Chess and Hebrew club are important for emotional and intellectual buoyancy. I’ve been pleased at his dedication to his weekly Zoom Hebrew lessons, enraptured more by the history lessons and stories.

For my daughter, it’s easier, she has a multitude of interest, wanting to take lessons or classes in pretty much anything. And also everything.

Having a goal or objective, both near and long term are good things. But that’s not the same as having a white whale. It’s significantly healthier.  It’s a productive drive instead of one destined for failure and burnout.

I hope my kids can learn from my mistakes.  There are definitely moments big and small where something can turn into a white whale.  Whether it’s a work project, chore, and errand that maybe doesn’t have to be done in the next few minutes, hours, or even days. But is elevated to urgent with a white whale intensity.

We moved in December and continue to have a litany of problems with our house.  My instinct is to try and call in contractors and get everything resolved immediately.  Of course time, money, and reality have a way of interfering.  But fixing the house has been my white whale the last few months.  It ranged from amusement to befuddlement, to sympathetic irritation during my handyman father-in-law’s visit where he knocked out a bunch of issues for us.

Because anyone who has a white whale or pursued one can relay the inevitable result.  Its an isolating existence, like you’ve been abandoned in the wilderness shepherded only by faith.

Call me Ishmael.